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I Fixed the United States Declaration of Independence

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men of North Western European descent are created generally similar though of distinctly different value depending upon their respective assets and net worths, that they are endowed by selectively enforced federal and state laws with certain alienable Rights, that among these are Wealth, Acquisition and the pursuit of Acclaim.

A Satisfying Twitter Conversation

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way and say
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play
If there was a better way to go, then it would find me
I can't help it; the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me
Or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it
I'm an extraordinary machine
-Fiona Apple